In the beginning was Kaido, and Kaido was with Kaido, and Kaido was Kaido. Kaido descended to earth from the heavens in order to save mankind from themselves. Upon his arrival, he immediately went to work fixing the broken world by introducing sex and beer. With those essentials, mankind reached new peaks.
Witness Testimony:[1] My old life was such a drag. I was only making six figures and only had three lovers. Life wasn't really fun. So I prayed to Kaido each night, throwing myself at his feet so my life could get better. One night when I was kneeling at my bed and praying, Kaido appeared behind me and <document burned to protect the children> And that's how me and my monkey army conquered Uranus.
- ↑ Paid actor
Not endorsed by the real Kaido.
You may offer prayers and sacrifices to Kaido here.
Doesnt change the fact that kaido sux
Kaido is the false god, and all followers of Kaido are heretics and sinners.